![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
The Evolution of Sex.
Apr. 5th, 2007 | 05:38 pm
Mikael's commentary on Evolution:
Today, in Biology, we watched a movie about the origins of life, both human and planet wide. It began to talk about how unicellular organisms became multicellular, and how those became more prevalent in the world.
I then began to wonder, where did sex come from? Bacteria don't have sex. The divide asexually. Eukaryotes, however, have sex. Did some bacteria, when symbotically linking to another unicellular organism decide "Hey, I'm going to be a Penis."? Better yet, did it talk to another one and say "Hey, you want to be a vagina?". I don't know. This seriously creeps me out.
On a very fundamental level, sex makes no sense in the first place. A compulsive drive to insert the penis into a vagina for means of procreation is almost as confusion as the final episode of Seinfeld. I have no clue if Sex actually evolved, but I know it makes very little sense to me.
Oh well.
Second, I think the universe tends toward a few dominant species, rather than a wide genetic diversity on the planet. If the whole "Evolution" theory lends itself to genetic diversity, things would not have gone extinct before man became as "destructive" as he is. Many people say that humans are the reason so many things go extinct, but I say "It happened during the times of the dinosaurs. Where were the people then?" Yes, humans destroy habitats of animals and such, but I think that is the same with two species competing for a niche.
In the end, some few species will be dominant, hopefully with superpowers. If humans were still the dominant beings, they'd need frickin' superpowers. Useful ones too. Like Freon Blood.
To quote Britta, "If I had a superpower, no, genetic mutation, I'd want to be able to turn my blood into freon, and people would come say 'Hey FreonGirl...no...FreonFrau! (I interject: Isn't that Frau's name?) That's not the point! I'd walk up to someone and they'd say, "My car is so overheated." I'd say, you got fifty bucks and I'm there.' "
Today, in Biology, we watched a movie about the origins of life, both human and planet wide. It began to talk about how unicellular organisms became multicellular, and how those became more prevalent in the world.
I then began to wonder, where did sex come from? Bacteria don't have sex. The divide asexually. Eukaryotes, however, have sex. Did some bacteria, when symbotically linking to another unicellular organism decide "Hey, I'm going to be a Penis."? Better yet, did it talk to another one and say "Hey, you want to be a vagina?". I don't know. This seriously creeps me out.
On a very fundamental level, sex makes no sense in the first place. A compulsive drive to insert the penis into a vagina for means of procreation is almost as confusion as the final episode of Seinfeld. I have no clue if Sex actually evolved, but I know it makes very little sense to me.
Oh well.
Second, I think the universe tends toward a few dominant species, rather than a wide genetic diversity on the planet. If the whole "Evolution" theory lends itself to genetic diversity, things would not have gone extinct before man became as "destructive" as he is. Many people say that humans are the reason so many things go extinct, but I say "It happened during the times of the dinosaurs. Where were the people then?" Yes, humans destroy habitats of animals and such, but I think that is the same with two species competing for a niche.
In the end, some few species will be dominant, hopefully with superpowers. If humans were still the dominant beings, they'd need frickin' superpowers. Useful ones too. Like Freon Blood.
To quote Britta, "If I had a superpower, no, genetic mutation, I'd want to be able to turn my blood into freon, and people would come say 'Hey FreonGirl...no...FreonFrau! (I interject: Isn't that Frau's name?) That's not the point! I'd walk up to someone and they'd say, "My car is so overheated." I'd say, you got fifty bucks and I'm there.' "
Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend
The IRS and I.
Apr. 5th, 2007 | 12:10 am
location: Brown House.
mood: Confused/Automated.
music: Whatever is on Whitney's Computer at this time of night.
I just called the IRS. I needed to know about my taxes, since my W-2 was destroyed by my mother. [Side Note: Most of my posters and school papers were ripped up in bags in my room. So mature, Stacy.] As such I need an extension on filing my taxes.
After calling the IRS, I went through about six automated menus just to talk to [Heavily New York Accent] Linda, Employee Number 4152590. She informs me that though I pressed 4 to speak with a representative about filing an extension, she needs to transfer me to a more specialized employee. Transfer. 20 seconds later, I'm talking to Judy, Employee Number 2539243. She informs me, in a very thick Jewish Accent, that she is unable to assist me because she deals with form [Who cares] Only. Finally, I talk to Miss O'Haver, EN. 234152 (whose voice sounded oddly like a combination of both Linda, Employee 4152590 and Judy, Employee Number 2539243), who repeated back everything I said in the form of a question.
Example:
Me: "I'm a 17 year old with a part time job."
Miss O'Haver, Employee Number 234152: "So you're 17 and you have a part time job?"
Me: "Um...Yes..."
After a few minutes of trying to understand her, I found out that unless I owe the feds something, I don't need to worry, but I can file a 4684 extension form, just to be safe. All in all, 15:33 of my life wasted (according to the phone), to find out next to nothing.
As such, I have a new philosophy. If the IRS has an automated customer filtration system (the touchtone voices), I deserve one too, because I am much more vital to the economic wellbeing of the US. I want a forcefield around me, [Soundproof] and when someone approaches me, they hear: "To speak with Mikael, State 'One' loudly."
I assume, if they were attempting to talk to me, they would state one, loudly.
"If this is something vital to Mikael's immediate health, state 'Two' loudly. If not, state 'Three'." I figure they would be filtered in this manner. Mind you, this may be at the expense of my immediate health, i.e.
"MIKAEL, THERE IS A TRAIN COMING RIGHT TOWARD Y-" could be interrupted by "To speak with Mikael, State 'One' loudly.". Of course, I'd rather be hit by a speeding train than have conversations with obnoxiously stupid people.
Also, you probably wouldn't have to say "one". It would be something more like "Penile Secretions!" in a loud voice. I'm sorry, but if it's not important enough to yell "Penile Secretions!" at my forcefield, it probably wasn't that important in the first place.
Finally, if you made it past yelling "Intercourse is more amusing than mastication", and the other various pitfalls of the system, the forcefield would open, and you would be allowed in, trapped actually, until I pressed the eject button. This would also prevent teachers from asking questions in class I don't know.
The forcefield would also allow me to be oblivious to things happening around me, and would actually visually block out people on my "rather strongly dislike or above" list. On bad days, I would block out everyone, and sleep for hours.
How nice life could be...
Thank you, IRS. Thank you.
After calling the IRS, I went through about six automated menus just to talk to [Heavily New York Accent] Linda, Employee Number 4152590. She informs me that though I pressed 4 to speak with a representative about filing an extension, she needs to transfer me to a more specialized employee. Transfer. 20 seconds later, I'm talking to Judy, Employee Number 2539243. She informs me, in a very thick Jewish Accent, that she is unable to assist me because she deals with form [Who cares] Only. Finally, I talk to Miss O'Haver, EN. 234152 (whose voice sounded oddly like a combination of both Linda, Employee 4152590 and Judy, Employee Number 2539243), who repeated back everything I said in the form of a question.
Example:
Me: "I'm a 17 year old with a part time job."
Miss O'Haver, Employee Number 234152: "So you're 17 and you have a part time job?"
Me: "Um...Yes..."
After a few minutes of trying to understand her, I found out that unless I owe the feds something, I don't need to worry, but I can file a 4684 extension form, just to be safe. All in all, 15:33 of my life wasted (according to the phone), to find out next to nothing.
As such, I have a new philosophy. If the IRS has an automated customer filtration system (the touchtone voices), I deserve one too, because I am much more vital to the economic wellbeing of the US. I want a forcefield around me, [Soundproof] and when someone approaches me, they hear: "To speak with Mikael, State 'One' loudly."
I assume, if they were attempting to talk to me, they would state one, loudly.
"If this is something vital to Mikael's immediate health, state 'Two' loudly. If not, state 'Three'." I figure they would be filtered in this manner. Mind you, this may be at the expense of my immediate health, i.e.
"MIKAEL, THERE IS A TRAIN COMING RIGHT TOWARD Y-" could be interrupted by "To speak with Mikael, State 'One' loudly.". Of course, I'd rather be hit by a speeding train than have conversations with obnoxiously stupid people.
Also, you probably wouldn't have to say "one". It would be something more like "Penile Secretions!" in a loud voice. I'm sorry, but if it's not important enough to yell "Penile Secretions!" at my forcefield, it probably wasn't that important in the first place.
Finally, if you made it past yelling "Intercourse is more amusing than mastication", and the other various pitfalls of the system, the forcefield would open, and you would be allowed in, trapped actually, until I pressed the eject button. This would also prevent teachers from asking questions in class I don't know.
The forcefield would also allow me to be oblivious to things happening around me, and would actually visually block out people on my "rather strongly dislike or above" list. On bad days, I would block out everyone, and sleep for hours.
How nice life could be...
Thank you, IRS. Thank you.